It's the first Sister's Day for our kiddos and they aren't together. Sigh...
Sonne has been in the hospital since Thursday. I am exhausted in a way I never was during their NICU days. At least there we knew what we were dealing with. They were premature and had growing to do. Here it seems as though no one has any definitive answers.
When I left yesterday Sonne was resting comfortably but he 5 o'clock feed didn't go well. They believe she aspirated breast milk because she stopped breathing (for less than a minute) and her O2 sats dropped into the 30s/40s. So they increased her oxygen flow significantly and moved her to a room across from the nurse's station so she would be closer to assistance if needed. I also just learned that during the move her heart rate dropped significantly a couple times.
I got to thinking that this was similar to what happened during her NEC scare in the NICU. I mentioned that to the nurse and will mention it to the attending physician when I speak with her later.
For now, she is resting comfortably. She's back on simple nasal canuoles at a low flow and her sats are holding well. We are still waiting for her viral panel to come back and I think they are trying to decide if she needs any additional tests.
As for Morgen, she is as cute as ever. Last night she peed the bed. Oh well...had I not fallen asleep while nursing her she would have gotten a fresh diaper before 7:45am. Doh! When I put her on the changing table she looked up at me with these bright blue eyes and gave me a huge smile. That's the first time I think she's done that - her smiles are usually gas related. That made my day start just right.
Eric should be arriving back in LA in a few hours. He's been trying to get here since the crack of dawn east coast time but Delta failed him leaving Boston so he missed his connection in Detroit. The poor guy. I know he had a good time at the wedding, but I also know that his enjoyment was shadowed by what's been going on here with Sonne.
As for me, I'm hanging in there. There are times when all I was to do is cry, but that really isn't going to help things. Mind you, I have let myself cry. I'm also not about to hold it all in. That wouldn't do me any good either. I'm very glad Eric will be here in a few hours. It will be easier to handle everything with my partner by my side.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Three Months
Oh how we love these girls!
Yesterday they turned three months old and yet every day it feels like something new is happening.
Morgen has begun the "only mommy makes me feel better" phase. She was already the more clingy girl but that tendency has grown. It's hard to find time in the day to do anything besides cuddle that little girl. I'm not complaining, not by any means. There is something absolutely wonderful about holding my girl and having her little arms around my neck (not that they reach around per se, but rather settle at either side by my collarbones).
Sonne is growing like a weed. Well...they both are, but with Sonne the changes seem so much more prominent. I have to assume that's because of her smaller size still. Sure, she's putting on some baby fat, but she's getting noticeably longer. I'm watching her nap in the swing at the moment and I swear she's bigger than she was yesterday.
Today the girls are being evaluated by a physical therapist who works for a regional center. They were referred there by the NICU due to their prematurity. There is a chance that they will be accepted into a program to assist them with their development. Then again, the therapist might look at them and say that they seem on target based on their adjusted age. We shall see.
As for us parents, we spend our spare time cleaning out the house. We are on a huge mission to get rid of the crap we have stored inside and out. Do we need it? Do we love it? Does it have sentimental value so we want to keep it? No? Goodbye! Of course, we filled the trash can quickly yesterday and have more to go so I'm waiting until the trash pick up tomorrow to continue the pitching mission.
As for me, I'm doing okay. Some days are easier than others. Yesterday morning was a tough one. Thankfully Eric let me run out to the brew shop on my own so I could have a little break from nursing what seemed like 24/7 on Friday and Saturday. I needed the hour break. And, if all goes as planned, tomorrow I will be brewing up a Honingweizen which we will keg for a Labor Day weekend BBQ. Fingers crossed.
I'm mentally preparing now for Eric to be out of town for a few days later this week. He's heading to The Cape for our dear friends' wedding. I wish I were going as well, but traveling with these two would just be too much. We have our routine, so to speak, here and messing with it seems silly. I'm just worried about managing both girls during the night. Why the night is more daunting than the day, I'm not sure. I'll figure it out certainly. I'm not the first mom who had to manage two infants on her own for a few days. And I'd rather be home with the girls than away from them. Daddy is going to seriously miss them. Heck, we both miss them when we are gone for more than a few hours!
Anyhow...I'm grateful for the challenges whether they be how to nurse both girls at once or how to be okay with letting one cry while tending to the needs of her sister. I'm grateful that I have this opportunity. I so love these two girls and cannot wait to teach them about the world and watch them explore it for themselves.
Yesterday they turned three months old and yet every day it feels like something new is happening.
Morgen has begun the "only mommy makes me feel better" phase. She was already the more clingy girl but that tendency has grown. It's hard to find time in the day to do anything besides cuddle that little girl. I'm not complaining, not by any means. There is something absolutely wonderful about holding my girl and having her little arms around my neck (not that they reach around per se, but rather settle at either side by my collarbones).
Sonne is growing like a weed. Well...they both are, but with Sonne the changes seem so much more prominent. I have to assume that's because of her smaller size still. Sure, she's putting on some baby fat, but she's getting noticeably longer. I'm watching her nap in the swing at the moment and I swear she's bigger than she was yesterday.
Today the girls are being evaluated by a physical therapist who works for a regional center. They were referred there by the NICU due to their prematurity. There is a chance that they will be accepted into a program to assist them with their development. Then again, the therapist might look at them and say that they seem on target based on their adjusted age. We shall see.
As for us parents, we spend our spare time cleaning out the house. We are on a huge mission to get rid of the crap we have stored inside and out. Do we need it? Do we love it? Does it have sentimental value so we want to keep it? No? Goodbye! Of course, we filled the trash can quickly yesterday and have more to go so I'm waiting until the trash pick up tomorrow to continue the pitching mission.
As for me, I'm doing okay. Some days are easier than others. Yesterday morning was a tough one. Thankfully Eric let me run out to the brew shop on my own so I could have a little break from nursing what seemed like 24/7 on Friday and Saturday. I needed the hour break. And, if all goes as planned, tomorrow I will be brewing up a Honingweizen which we will keg for a Labor Day weekend BBQ. Fingers crossed.
I'm mentally preparing now for Eric to be out of town for a few days later this week. He's heading to The Cape for our dear friends' wedding. I wish I were going as well, but traveling with these two would just be too much. We have our routine, so to speak, here and messing with it seems silly. I'm just worried about managing both girls during the night. Why the night is more daunting than the day, I'm not sure. I'll figure it out certainly. I'm not the first mom who had to manage two infants on her own for a few days. And I'd rather be home with the girls than away from them. Daddy is going to seriously miss them. Heck, we both miss them when we are gone for more than a few hours!
Anyhow...I'm grateful for the challenges whether they be how to nurse both girls at once or how to be okay with letting one cry while tending to the needs of her sister. I'm grateful that I have this opportunity. I so love these two girls and cannot wait to teach them about the world and watch them explore it for themselves.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Week Twelve Begins
Ah how things change.
It became fast apparent once getting Sonne home that we needed a bigger car. There just wasn't a comfortable way to get an adult in the back seat with two car seats. So a week ago, armed with extensive research, we began the search for our first family vehicle.
Neither of us wanted to go the minivan route, so that left us with SUVs. Eric's preference seemed to be of the huge variety while mine was on the smaller crossovers. Unfortunately, when one is 6'4" there aren't a lot of cars you can fit into easily and even fewer once a car seat is installed. And while we sat in a number of SUVs and quickly ruled them out due to leg room, we test drove two: the Nissan Armada which was okay in the third row, but not something I would likely ever consider driving, and the Volvo XC90 which was comfy and not too huge. We ended up purchasing the latter. It is a nice ride and a nice car to drive.
We have been taking time to try and get the house better organized. Part of that means getting the storage space sorted out. There were so many things out there which we had been holding onto and suddenly we are happy to get rid of so many things. A bunch of clothes and suitcases were donated to Goodwill this weekend. We also took old TVs and computer equipment to the recycling center. And then we took it a step further today and rolled the old refrigerator to the curb. It, along with a safe and our old grill were picked up about an hour later. I'm sure someone is going to get some cash for the scrap metal. Now we can once again access the weights, treadmill and heavy bag. Time to start getting back into shape! We have even set aside some boxes to tackle next weekend - impressive after years of not dealing with the clutter.
I think part of it is that we want to simplify things as much as possible. It's not that these girls making things complicated. Rather we would rather spend time with them than deal with the clutter so clearing it out just makes sense. At least that's how I see things.
As for the girls, they keep changing. Morgen weighed in at 7lbs 14oz at her last check up. That was my birth weight. It's so crazy to hold her and think that I'm holding me as a newborn. The fact that she bears such a resemblance to me as a newborn just boggles my mind on some level. Sonne weighed in at 6lbs 3oz at her cardiology appointment last week. To think this kiddo weighed about 40% of that when she was born is astounding. She looks so much like Eric as a baby. I have this tryptic picture frame and I'm plannig to put pictures of Eric and I as babies in the two outer panes and a picture of the girls in the center.
Their personalities are developing more and more as well. Sonne is the more independent of the two and also spends a great deal of time very alert and checking out the world around her. Morgen seems to crave affection more. She is happiest when she is cuddled up with one of us. She has her alert moments but those are again enjoyed most by her if she is being held. I'm not sure if her need for being held was always there or if I cultivated it by my own need to hold her when we finally got her home from the hospital. I know that in those few weeks of one baby home and one in the NICU I felt a real need to hold Morgen. That's not to say that Sonne doesn't want to be held since she certainly has those moments, but rather she is also okay on her own.
The other big change now that we've had both girls home for two weeks is that the routine is starting to become just that - routine. There are the diaper changes and the feedings. There is laundry and cleaning. There is tummy time and tub time. It's starting to feel more natural as the days go on. That's not to say there haven't been times where it has been a it overwhelming, but that for the most part it is just the way it is meant to be.
We are a family and our home is filled with love. I'm learning more about myself and my husband every day. It is a beautiful gift which I'm not sure I would have if it weren't for my daughters.
It became fast apparent once getting Sonne home that we needed a bigger car. There just wasn't a comfortable way to get an adult in the back seat with two car seats. So a week ago, armed with extensive research, we began the search for our first family vehicle.
Neither of us wanted to go the minivan route, so that left us with SUVs. Eric's preference seemed to be of the huge variety while mine was on the smaller crossovers. Unfortunately, when one is 6'4" there aren't a lot of cars you can fit into easily and even fewer once a car seat is installed. And while we sat in a number of SUVs and quickly ruled them out due to leg room, we test drove two: the Nissan Armada which was okay in the third row, but not something I would likely ever consider driving, and the Volvo XC90 which was comfy and not too huge. We ended up purchasing the latter. It is a nice ride and a nice car to drive.
We have been taking time to try and get the house better organized. Part of that means getting the storage space sorted out. There were so many things out there which we had been holding onto and suddenly we are happy to get rid of so many things. A bunch of clothes and suitcases were donated to Goodwill this weekend. We also took old TVs and computer equipment to the recycling center. And then we took it a step further today and rolled the old refrigerator to the curb. It, along with a safe and our old grill were picked up about an hour later. I'm sure someone is going to get some cash for the scrap metal. Now we can once again access the weights, treadmill and heavy bag. Time to start getting back into shape! We have even set aside some boxes to tackle next weekend - impressive after years of not dealing with the clutter.
I think part of it is that we want to simplify things as much as possible. It's not that these girls making things complicated. Rather we would rather spend time with them than deal with the clutter so clearing it out just makes sense. At least that's how I see things.
As for the girls, they keep changing. Morgen weighed in at 7lbs 14oz at her last check up. That was my birth weight. It's so crazy to hold her and think that I'm holding me as a newborn. The fact that she bears such a resemblance to me as a newborn just boggles my mind on some level. Sonne weighed in at 6lbs 3oz at her cardiology appointment last week. To think this kiddo weighed about 40% of that when she was born is astounding. She looks so much like Eric as a baby. I have this tryptic picture frame and I'm plannig to put pictures of Eric and I as babies in the two outer panes and a picture of the girls in the center.
Their personalities are developing more and more as well. Sonne is the more independent of the two and also spends a great deal of time very alert and checking out the world around her. Morgen seems to crave affection more. She is happiest when she is cuddled up with one of us. She has her alert moments but those are again enjoyed most by her if she is being held. I'm not sure if her need for being held was always there or if I cultivated it by my own need to hold her when we finally got her home from the hospital. I know that in those few weeks of one baby home and one in the NICU I felt a real need to hold Morgen. That's not to say that Sonne doesn't want to be held since she certainly has those moments, but rather she is also okay on her own.
The other big change now that we've had both girls home for two weeks is that the routine is starting to become just that - routine. There are the diaper changes and the feedings. There is laundry and cleaning. There is tummy time and tub time. It's starting to feel more natural as the days go on. That's not to say there haven't been times where it has been a it overwhelming, but that for the most part it is just the way it is meant to be.
We are a family and our home is filled with love. I'm learning more about myself and my husband every day. It is a beautiful gift which I'm not sure I would have if it weren't for my daughters.
Monday, July 4, 2011
A Declaration of Independence
Morgen was discharged from the hospital this past Tuesday. It has been an absolute joy having her home, despite the difficulty arising from Sonne still being in the NICU.
Shortly before Morgen came home, my older sister came to visit. She booked her ticket for this trip back in February. Her arrival coincided with that would have been 38 weeks of pregnancy -- the date which my OB had said he would not let me go past. Of course, we all know we didn't get anywhere near the 38 week mark. Best laid plans...
Jenna was incredibly helpful in getting us ready to bring our girls home. She organized the nursery and lit a fire under us to clean up the clutter and get rid of things we never use. There were moments when I felt like I was being bossed around by my big sister and Eric would say to me that she was there to help and to try and see it from the perspective of her intentions. She was also invaluable in helping with Morgen so we could be at the NICU together with Sonne. I would be remiss to not recognize her concern and support while we went through the IVF process. And when the girls were delivered eight weeks early, she booked a flight so she could help in any way possible.
I have come to realize that while our relationship growing up was tenuous at times, we have both grown and changed and we have more in common than I think either of us would have ever thought possible. Perhaps it takes a commonality of experience to bridge the distance. We are both mothers. I see my sister with her children and I am amazed at her patience, compassion and understanding. I can only hope to be so open and loving with my daughters. Neither of us are perfect, but I do believe we both honestly come from a place of love and support when we come together.
How I didn't see this before hand, I'm not sure. I can only guess that it takes time and effort to change an inner dialog developed over nearly four decades. I am thankful that Eric can remind me to be open to a new perspective and that my sister has not wavered in her love and support of me.
So today I declare myself free from the constraints of my past experiences and free to enjoy every moment as it comes and to reap the benefits from my relationships with my family and friends. For this, I have my sister and husband to thank.
As for the girls for whom this blog is dedicated, Morgen is currently wrapped up against me and is sleeping peacefully. We have had an amazing few days home with her. She is a very sweet baby. Of course, she hasn't pooped in a week and we would really like her to do so. That said, she passes some of the most amazing gas! The dogs ain't got nothing on her.
Sonne and I spent a couple of hours together this morning. She weighs five pounds now -- nearly double her birth weight. Her PDA (pulmonary ductus arteriosus) has closed. We had hoped it would stay open a lot longer, but so be it. Her O2 blood saturation level remains in the upper 80s to low 90s, so it would appear that we have time before needing to think about surgery.
I guess now is the time to explain that Sonne was born with two congenital heart defects: Tetralogy of Fallot (Tet) and atrioventricular canal defect (AV Canal). Both will be corrected with open heart surgery sometime in the next year. It all depends on Sonne. When her sats drop into the 70s steadily she will turn a bit blue. Then it will be time. Until then, she will be just like her sister except she has a cardiologist who she will see regularly to monitor her progress. The irony in all of this is that Eric produced "Something The Lord Made" (STLM) for HBO which is the story of the doctor and laboratory tech who developed the procedure to correct Tet. In the realm of heart defects, if you have to have one, you want the one which pioneered open heart surgery seventy years ago and which has been perfected over the decades. We are fortunate that Eric is friends with many of the doctors who consulted on STLM -- one of whom is acting as our sounding board and answering all our questions including confirming that the surgeon we are being referred to is one of the best in the country.
Anyhow, Sonne and I had a lactation session this morning and she hopped right on and nursed beautifully for 10 minutes. I would have been happy to let her keep going, but the doctors are still limiting her feeds since the NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis) incident. After snacks we had skin-to-skin time which is heaven. Her neighbor Katie was discharged while I was there and I am thrilled for her family. They have been in the NICU for 10 weeks so it is only fitting that there will be fireworks tonight to celebrate her homecoming.
Eric is with Sonne now. I hope they are having as nice a visit as I enjoyed earlier. Just being with my girls fills me with such pure joy. There are times when I wonder what we have gotten ourselves into, but even then I know that we will get through everything.
Happy Fourth of July to all. May you find yourself free from the constraints of the past and able to live in the moment.
Shortly before Morgen came home, my older sister came to visit. She booked her ticket for this trip back in February. Her arrival coincided with that would have been 38 weeks of pregnancy -- the date which my OB had said he would not let me go past. Of course, we all know we didn't get anywhere near the 38 week mark. Best laid plans...
Jenna was incredibly helpful in getting us ready to bring our girls home. She organized the nursery and lit a fire under us to clean up the clutter and get rid of things we never use. There were moments when I felt like I was being bossed around by my big sister and Eric would say to me that she was there to help and to try and see it from the perspective of her intentions. She was also invaluable in helping with Morgen so we could be at the NICU together with Sonne. I would be remiss to not recognize her concern and support while we went through the IVF process. And when the girls were delivered eight weeks early, she booked a flight so she could help in any way possible.
I have come to realize that while our relationship growing up was tenuous at times, we have both grown and changed and we have more in common than I think either of us would have ever thought possible. Perhaps it takes a commonality of experience to bridge the distance. We are both mothers. I see my sister with her children and I am amazed at her patience, compassion and understanding. I can only hope to be so open and loving with my daughters. Neither of us are perfect, but I do believe we both honestly come from a place of love and support when we come together.
How I didn't see this before hand, I'm not sure. I can only guess that it takes time and effort to change an inner dialog developed over nearly four decades. I am thankful that Eric can remind me to be open to a new perspective and that my sister has not wavered in her love and support of me.
So today I declare myself free from the constraints of my past experiences and free to enjoy every moment as it comes and to reap the benefits from my relationships with my family and friends. For this, I have my sister and husband to thank.
As for the girls for whom this blog is dedicated, Morgen is currently wrapped up against me and is sleeping peacefully. We have had an amazing few days home with her. She is a very sweet baby. Of course, she hasn't pooped in a week and we would really like her to do so. That said, she passes some of the most amazing gas! The dogs ain't got nothing on her.
Sonne and I spent a couple of hours together this morning. She weighs five pounds now -- nearly double her birth weight. Her PDA (pulmonary ductus arteriosus) has closed. We had hoped it would stay open a lot longer, but so be it. Her O2 blood saturation level remains in the upper 80s to low 90s, so it would appear that we have time before needing to think about surgery.
I guess now is the time to explain that Sonne was born with two congenital heart defects: Tetralogy of Fallot (Tet) and atrioventricular canal defect (AV Canal). Both will be corrected with open heart surgery sometime in the next year. It all depends on Sonne. When her sats drop into the 70s steadily she will turn a bit blue. Then it will be time. Until then, she will be just like her sister except she has a cardiologist who she will see regularly to monitor her progress. The irony in all of this is that Eric produced "Something The Lord Made" (STLM) for HBO which is the story of the doctor and laboratory tech who developed the procedure to correct Tet. In the realm of heart defects, if you have to have one, you want the one which pioneered open heart surgery seventy years ago and which has been perfected over the decades. We are fortunate that Eric is friends with many of the doctors who consulted on STLM -- one of whom is acting as our sounding board and answering all our questions including confirming that the surgeon we are being referred to is one of the best in the country.
Anyhow, Sonne and I had a lactation session this morning and she hopped right on and nursed beautifully for 10 minutes. I would have been happy to let her keep going, but the doctors are still limiting her feeds since the NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis) incident. After snacks we had skin-to-skin time which is heaven. Her neighbor Katie was discharged while I was there and I am thrilled for her family. They have been in the NICU for 10 weeks so it is only fitting that there will be fireworks tonight to celebrate her homecoming.
Eric is with Sonne now. I hope they are having as nice a visit as I enjoyed earlier. Just being with my girls fills me with such pure joy. There are times when I wonder what we have gotten ourselves into, but even then I know that we will get through everything.
Happy Fourth of July to all. May you find yourself free from the constraints of the past and able to live in the moment.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Ride Continues...
I think these girls are in cahoots.
Morgen is now 5lbs 12oz. She seems huge and, considering her birth weight, she actually is huge. All that's left for her to master is her feeds. Once she can manage to take all her feeds by mouth she will be able to come home.
Sonne is another story. She is an eater and regularly chugs down her full feed plus five or ten extra ccs in 20 minutes. She's currently at 4lbs 6oz which is great. Of course she is still contending with Brady and desat events. To top that off, she may have another infection and is now back on IV fluids while they run a gamut of tests to figure out what, if anything, caused her bloody stool. So far the first X-ray is normal. We are awaiting results from a CBC and, assuming she has another bloody stool, they will run a culture (why they didn't order one from the first bloody stool, I don't know). A follow up X-ray will be done during the night to see if anything has changed. If everything comes back normal, she will likely be on NPO status for a couple of days before bing started back of breast milk only.
So, here's what I think is happening...Morgen could be home in a matter of days, but she's not stepping up to the breast/bottle at all feeds. I think she's holding back because she doesn't want to leave her sister and Sonne is lagging in other areas because she doesn't want to leave Morgen behind. Unfortunately, they haven't had a chance to discuss their diabolical plans with one another. I swear if they did, both would be hitting all feeds by mouth and leaving any other shenanigans behind.
Clearly they don't know all the good things awaiting them outside the NICU.
They have two puppies who are eager to sniff them. They have a big crib to share at the foot of our bed. They don't realize that life outside of the hospital is so much better. But best of all, they will have access to mommy and daddy twenty-four hours a day.
I'm just hoping that there isn't anything serious going on with Sonne so she can get back to feeding and growing tomorrow as just IV fluids will likely lead to weight loss and she needs all the grams she can get.
And babies...I promise that we won't leave either of you behind. We want you both home as soon as possible but will take you home one at a time if that's what it takes to get you there. So let's listen to your mother Enough with these silly games. Do what you have to do to get discharged because life really does begin after the NICU.
Morgen is now 5lbs 12oz. She seems huge and, considering her birth weight, she actually is huge. All that's left for her to master is her feeds. Once she can manage to take all her feeds by mouth she will be able to come home.
Sonne is another story. She is an eater and regularly chugs down her full feed plus five or ten extra ccs in 20 minutes. She's currently at 4lbs 6oz which is great. Of course she is still contending with Brady and desat events. To top that off, she may have another infection and is now back on IV fluids while they run a gamut of tests to figure out what, if anything, caused her bloody stool. So far the first X-ray is normal. We are awaiting results from a CBC and, assuming she has another bloody stool, they will run a culture (why they didn't order one from the first bloody stool, I don't know). A follow up X-ray will be done during the night to see if anything has changed. If everything comes back normal, she will likely be on NPO status for a couple of days before bing started back of breast milk only.
So, here's what I think is happening...Morgen could be home in a matter of days, but she's not stepping up to the breast/bottle at all feeds. I think she's holding back because she doesn't want to leave her sister and Sonne is lagging in other areas because she doesn't want to leave Morgen behind. Unfortunately, they haven't had a chance to discuss their diabolical plans with one another. I swear if they did, both would be hitting all feeds by mouth and leaving any other shenanigans behind.
Clearly they don't know all the good things awaiting them outside the NICU.
They have two puppies who are eager to sniff them. They have a big crib to share at the foot of our bed. They don't realize that life outside of the hospital is so much better. But best of all, they will have access to mommy and daddy twenty-four hours a day.
I'm just hoping that there isn't anything serious going on with Sonne so she can get back to feeding and growing tomorrow as just IV fluids will likely lead to weight loss and she needs all the grams she can get.
And babies...I promise that we won't leave either of you behind. We want you both home as soon as possible but will take you home one at a time if that's what it takes to get you there. So let's listen to your mother Enough with these silly games. Do what you have to do to get discharged because life really does begin after the NICU.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Five Weeks and One Day - Father's Day
The girls are five weeks old and both have gained nearly two pounds since birth. It's hard to believe that we have been visiting the NICU for this long and at the same time I feel like our girls are so much older.
I am constantly amazed and humbled by our daughters and how much I love them. I know Eric feels the same.
We are still spending a good six hours or more a day with them and it seems as though we are now in a place where both take little steps forward most days. We know there is still a ways to go, but we are getting closer to getting our girls home.
Morgen is now taking three feeds per shift by bottle or breast. It has been primarily the former but we are working on latching and she is getting there...slowly but surely. The nurses keep hinting that they think she will go home this week, but we are trying not to get our hopes up too much. She is still inconsistent with her feeds and they won't let her come home until she takes all by mouth.
Sonne is growing and is as feisty as ever. She is very interested in feeding by mouth, but is only at one oral feed per shift. I think she could be upped, but that's just my opinion given her need to be sucking during her feeds. I'm hoping to get her better evaluated today by the lactation consultant so we can figure out how much she's getting from the breast so we can make the breast her per shift feeding as she seems to settle into it more than the bottle.
Yesterday we celebrated Eric's first Father's Day. We were with the girls for almost the entire day shift. There was much cuddling to be had by both of us and it was good. I think we were both quite content just being with the girls - content in a way I'm not sure either of us has felt before as there is often something weighing on our minds while there. And Eric loved his gifts from the girls - prints of their footprints. I've promised to frame them for him.
I am constantly amazed and humbled by our daughters and how much I love them. I know Eric feels the same.
We are still spending a good six hours or more a day with them and it seems as though we are now in a place where both take little steps forward most days. We know there is still a ways to go, but we are getting closer to getting our girls home.
Morgen is now taking three feeds per shift by bottle or breast. It has been primarily the former but we are working on latching and she is getting there...slowly but surely. The nurses keep hinting that they think she will go home this week, but we are trying not to get our hopes up too much. She is still inconsistent with her feeds and they won't let her come home until she takes all by mouth.
Sonne is growing and is as feisty as ever. She is very interested in feeding by mouth, but is only at one oral feed per shift. I think she could be upped, but that's just my opinion given her need to be sucking during her feeds. I'm hoping to get her better evaluated today by the lactation consultant so we can figure out how much she's getting from the breast so we can make the breast her per shift feeding as she seems to settle into it more than the bottle.
Yesterday we celebrated Eric's first Father's Day. We were with the girls for almost the entire day shift. There was much cuddling to be had by both of us and it was good. I think we were both quite content just being with the girls - content in a way I'm not sure either of us has felt before as there is often something weighing on our minds while there. And Eric loved his gifts from the girls - prints of their footprints. I've promised to frame them for him.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
25 Days
Well...I'm a few days late on this update. Try as I might, I just can't seem to get the update posted on the weekly anniversaries of the girls births. Oh well...we do the best we can.
We were told that the NICU experience would often feel like a roller coaster ride and we have definitely felt that the past few days.
Morgen started PO training (e.g., learning to feed by mouth) last week. She started slow taking only 7ccs from a bottle. The next day she took 10 and then 13 and on Sunday she jumped up to 28ccs. Her therapist Jean was quite pleased with her progression. She is now "cue ready" which means if she's awake and alert she can try feeding from a bottle or the breast. She gets to do this once per shift for two days and then twice per shift for two days, until she's getting all feedings from the bottle or breast. The nurses also expect her to be moved to a bassinet in another day or two. All in all, great steps towards coming home.
Sonne, on the other hand, has had some tough days. She had some apnea episodes on Sunday which were incredibly scary. She was put back on VapoTherm to aide her breathing and, after a rough night Monday, was moved another step back onto the CPAP device. On Monday she received a transfusion to help her hematocrit level as her CBC showed a significant decrease in red blood cells (apparently we don't start making our own red blood cells until a month after birth so premies often need help). She was also put on antibiotics and had cultures drawn to see if she has an infection. At this point we are waiting, but the doctors believe she might have a UTI. On the upside, both yesterday and today she had nonnutritive practice and both times, despite my having pumped dry, she latched and sucked and my milk let down so she was able to do a little bit of nutritive sucking. Both our lactation consultant and occupational therapist have said she is a natural and believe she will progress easily once she is cue ready. However, until she is past this infection and back off the more heavy duty breathing devices, they aren't going to formally assess her and advance her.
So we've had one baby taking strides forward and the other taking steps back. The doctors and nurses assure us that Sonne's set backs are normal for premies with low birth weights and tell us we shouldn't worry. Of course, that is easier said than done. They have also cautioned us that while Morgen is doing great, often times premies have set backs when they advance quickly as it is often a bit of an overload for them to have to do so many things at once. We are still hopeful that Morgen might be discharged in a few weeks (e.g., before her full term date), but we are still being told to expect them to be here until term. We shall see.
The last bit of news is that the girls had their first eye exams today and every thing looks great. The vascular system in the retinas is 95% developed for both girls. They will be reexamined in two weeks to see if the remaining 5% has developed and, if not, they can be treated for it. The eye doctor was very pleased with their results. And, while neither girl enjoyed the exam itself (and I have to admit I wasn't a fan of the device used to keep their eyes open), both settled down right after the exam was complete and have been resting comfortably ever since.
Best of all, both girls are growing. Morgen is now 4.5lbs. Sonne is 3.5lbs which is a mere three ounces shy of her sister's birth weight. And with each ounce they gain the more they look like healthy babies, even if they are still small.
And that's it from the NICU for now.
We were told that the NICU experience would often feel like a roller coaster ride and we have definitely felt that the past few days.
Morgen started PO training (e.g., learning to feed by mouth) last week. She started slow taking only 7ccs from a bottle. The next day she took 10 and then 13 and on Sunday she jumped up to 28ccs. Her therapist Jean was quite pleased with her progression. She is now "cue ready" which means if she's awake and alert she can try feeding from a bottle or the breast. She gets to do this once per shift for two days and then twice per shift for two days, until she's getting all feedings from the bottle or breast. The nurses also expect her to be moved to a bassinet in another day or two. All in all, great steps towards coming home.
Sonne, on the other hand, has had some tough days. She had some apnea episodes on Sunday which were incredibly scary. She was put back on VapoTherm to aide her breathing and, after a rough night Monday, was moved another step back onto the CPAP device. On Monday she received a transfusion to help her hematocrit level as her CBC showed a significant decrease in red blood cells (apparently we don't start making our own red blood cells until a month after birth so premies often need help). She was also put on antibiotics and had cultures drawn to see if she has an infection. At this point we are waiting, but the doctors believe she might have a UTI. On the upside, both yesterday and today she had nonnutritive practice and both times, despite my having pumped dry, she latched and sucked and my milk let down so she was able to do a little bit of nutritive sucking. Both our lactation consultant and occupational therapist have said she is a natural and believe she will progress easily once she is cue ready. However, until she is past this infection and back off the more heavy duty breathing devices, they aren't going to formally assess her and advance her.
So we've had one baby taking strides forward and the other taking steps back. The doctors and nurses assure us that Sonne's set backs are normal for premies with low birth weights and tell us we shouldn't worry. Of course, that is easier said than done. They have also cautioned us that while Morgen is doing great, often times premies have set backs when they advance quickly as it is often a bit of an overload for them to have to do so many things at once. We are still hopeful that Morgen might be discharged in a few weeks (e.g., before her full term date), but we are still being told to expect them to be here until term. We shall see.
The last bit of news is that the girls had their first eye exams today and every thing looks great. The vascular system in the retinas is 95% developed for both girls. They will be reexamined in two weeks to see if the remaining 5% has developed and, if not, they can be treated for it. The eye doctor was very pleased with their results. And, while neither girl enjoyed the exam itself (and I have to admit I wasn't a fan of the device used to keep their eyes open), both settled down right after the exam was complete and have been resting comfortably ever since.
Best of all, both girls are growing. Morgen is now 4.5lbs. Sonne is 3.5lbs which is a mere three ounces shy of her sister's birth weight. And with each ounce they gain the more they look like healthy babies, even if they are still small.
And that's it from the NICU for now.
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